don’t ever try to teach me about good and evil. I’ve been there, and you’ve seen nothing but the map.

People are too durable, that&#39;s their main trouble. They can do too much to themselves, they last too long.

Begin to see yourself as a soul with a body rather than a body with a soul.

Right now, my job is that I&#39;m like an ambulance chaser. I&#39;ve got to look for movies with white guys falling out of them.

You don&#39;t pay taxes - they take taxes.

There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments.

Gay people got a right to be as miserable as everybody else.

Comedy is a group activity, a verbal orgy.

Written By Chris Rock