God... a being whose only definition is that he is beyond man's power to conceive.

I am invincible, unbreakable
Unstoppable, unshakeable
They knock me down, I get up again
I am the champion
You're gonna know my name
You can't hurt me now
I can't feel the pain
I was made for this, yeah, I was born to win
I am the champion

One of these days they'll be making a film where the whole human race gets wiped out in a nuclear war, but everything works out in the end.

The reason there are two senators for each state is so that one can be the designated driver.

If God doesn&#39;t destroy Hollywood Boulevard, he owes Sodom and Gomorrah an apology.

The crime problem in New York is getting really serious. The other day the Statue of Liberty had both hands up.

Al Jazeera aired a new tape of Osama bin Laden. It was the usual stuff, he called Bush evil, the Great Satan, called him a war monger. Basically, the same thing you heard at last night&#39;s Democratic debate.

Jay Leno

Quotes by Jay Leno

Written By Jay Leno

Written By Jay Leno

Written By Jay Leno

Written By Jay Leno

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