And if there was one title that could be applied to all my films, it would be &#39;Civil War&#39; - not civil war in the way we know it, but the daily war that goes on between us all.

It&#39;s as simple as something that nobody knows.

Well, good Christ, how was I supposed to know all that, Hannah? Who looks into the fine points when he's hungry? I'm eight years old and chocolate pudding happens to get me hot. All I have to do is see that deep chocolatey surface gleaming out at me from the refrigerator, and my life isn't my own.

When I wake up on a Monday morning and I realise I don&#39;t have to go and work at the civil service, I really think I&#39;ve won.

Paul Merton

Quotes by Paul Merton

Written By Paul Merton

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