Don't be sad if you're a Villian in someone's story
even
God was a Villian in someone's story

I am not the archetypal leading man. This is mainly for one reason: as you may have noticed, I have no hair.

I employ this thing I called The Shovel List.”   “A shovel..?”  “No, a shovel list. It’s more of a conceptual thing. It’s a list of all the people and things I hate so much I want to hit them in the face with a shovel.

I care about strangers when they're abstractions but feel almost nothing when they are literally in front of me. They seem like unnamed characters in a poorly written novel about myself, which was poorly written by me.

Written By Chuck Klosterman

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